The Concept of "Virginity"

I haven't written anything in a while, as is obvious. However, lately the concept of virginity and the "virgin/whore" dichotomy for women has come up quite often. Most people already see the basic problems with the idea: whether or not it applies to rape victims, if it is intercourse only or if oral sex counts, the problem with it not being applicable to gays and lesbians...you see my point. No one can even decide what it IS, so it can't actually be a thing to begin with. 

My biggest problem with it is the connotations behind both men and women being "virgins". The women are pure and virtuous (never mind if they're an insane serial killer) and "respect themselves" (as if sex somehow gives away part of a woman's soul) and the men are "secretly gay" (which shouldn't even be insulting) or just too lame to get laid. The thing is, if you have had sex, you have had sex. If you haven't, you haven't. It doesn't mean much. In one essay I read about saving sex until marriage, the first reason was about how sex is "explosively powerful" and "will change your life". Well, I have news for you: it's not. Personally, for me, it was great. It didn't change my worldview. It didn't change my relationship with my family. It didn't "negatively affect my grades" as was mentioned in said article (my grades have been on a consistent upward trend since about the age I started to do things - probably a coincidence, but worth mentioning).

Here's the article.

My point is that the concept of virginity and typical attitudes surrounding it reinforce the idea that a woman's morality is inversely proportional to her sexual frequency (or even worse, her "invitations to lust" - more on that later) and a man's social standing is directionally proportional to it. 

And this:

So I'm starting this gender equality blog because...

I can no longer call myself a feminist because to most people, that word means that I don't believe there are any issues that only face men (when there clearly are). So many people excuse the double standards set up against both genders because they happen on both sides, but why should there be any double standards? We consider America a very advanced country, and yet both women and men are suppressed by their gender norms and how society tells them they should act. Just because we are past the point where women are beaten to death for cheating on their husbands and a man can wear a scarf in public without being ridiculed does not mean we are far enough.